The IGNORE (ant) vs tHe iDiOt....

So I'm struggling here. I struggle with "ignore". Or being ignored. I also struggle with the "ignore" "ant". Look, I'm not an egomaniac that is like the "Stuart"saying "look what I can do"! But I do have issues when we ignore one another in the body of Christ. Our needs, our struggles, our victories. Blind eyes see nothing worth value. Here's my "rant". Within the last several months, I have reached out to several people in the christian world who I greatly admire. I mean deeply admire, I mean look up to (and continue to look up to......and that's hard...I'm 6'6). I reached out via email, hand written notes, phone calls, face books, pigeons with notes attached, smoke signals, airplane signs, and prophets directly speaking from God on their voice mails (OK..i exaggerate...I'd never take time to hand write anything). 

I've asked for very difficult things (like a quick note of advice via email, or how they got that God idea). I mean come on! We get it! Your busy, insanely popular, and God is using you in mountain moving ways. But when is too big...too big. When we don't have time for the "little" folk.  Coming out of bible college, I remember wanting to be the next RON LUCE, speaking in front of 100,000 young people a night. Now, "that" would be hell. I like manageable. Don't get me wrong I like big...big hair, big jeans, big crowds. What I don't like is big ego's, and I can't help but think that the big boys that are too busy to write a simple email saying "try this" haven't lost sight of the real. Jesus rode with 12, to reach billions. Get small to BE big is a theme that's been in my spirit for over a year now. Back to my thought (because I love these people so much, I REFUSE to call it an "Issue"...so it's more of a frustrating thought)

Here's a sample of my rant:

Dear "said HERO"

I just wanted to write you a note first saying how much I admire you, and what God is doing in and through you to reach thousands for his kingdom. I've read all your books, and listened to almost every podcast. YOU ARE A HERO TO ME IN THE FAITH. I won't take up too much of your time knowing how incredibly busy you must be. I am a young pastor, embarking on reaching an emerging generation.  I think clearly you are on the forefront of what you are doing on the west coast. I am from N.Y. and we have nothing like that here, but when I study the west coast, and compare it with what's going on (or not going on) here in N.Y. I think maybe God has brought me here to merge what you do here.

I'm not asking for anything but maybe a simple sentence of direction! Some encouragement you may think to lead me in the right direction!

Again thank you so much for being such a influence in my life.

Deeply appreciative,

Jimmy Smuda

Now listen, this guy IS a hero. STILL to this day. If he came out with a book again tomorrow I'M BUYING. Because I'm not holding "him" on a pedestal. I recognize GOD is using him in mighty ways. I'm not holding unrealistic expectations. I'm not even faulting him for not a response. What I am saying is this. I did this with several people, and got not ONE response! I would have taken..."Jimmy, pray, fast, and seek God's face".

When Jesus recognized the lady who touched his robe, it showed he wasn't TOO BIG to not recognize the small. When the widow brought 2 mites, and dropped them in....He wasn't too big to recognize her heart.

I rest on the fact that ALL of these people are still my hero's, and I will suck the influence right out of all of them, pray for them, and support them. However I've realized something (which is good for me) I don't want to be them! Give me a small group to take on a BIG WORLD!

I find comfort in the words of Ghandi: 

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win".

tHe iDiOt......

CP (PART 2)

So it's almost a week later, and I've digested our little project. Or have just begun to. Beginning last Friday night, I endeavored upon the great city of NY as a homeless person. With nothing but the clothes on my back, and my i.d. and 2 other pastors, we set out to give a true testimony of what life was like living street life. We didn't know what to expect, or what we would encounter, but we were willing...and that is worth something. Friday came, my biggest fear was running into students who I serve (as the school that's the part of my church, and right next door to my house was on a field trip to the city). It was 3 pm, and we were on our way. No students around....test passed. At the train station, the pastors and I broke away from each other (which we had already incurred some resistance from the train workers in giving us really mind blowing information.......like the time. I guess the giant clock right behind them, wasn't....well working). We took some private time to pray, get alone, and ask God for divine connections and experiences with HIM. Just as we were ready to board, the train arriving opens, and a plethora of my students walked off the train with nothing but a "gasp". One particular girl looked at me straight in the face and literally let out a whimper. I looked at her stunned, and did the only thing I thought someone who had a bright life ahead of them could do when taking the plunge into street life, and turning away from everything they love. I winked....and I walked away. Not acknowledging them whatsoever. As I walked into my train, they came running. They stood at the door of the train...my babies, my kids, everything I serve God for..just staring with blank, hurt faces....Then the doors closed, and the train departed. The symbolism God used in my head at that moment, that someone would walk away from everything they love, without a word was paralyzing.

I don't know if I thought it would feel "that" real. I was numb the entire 40 minute ride to the city, only awakening from my emotional coma as we hit the streets of the city, and encountered the reactions of people. Or should I say the avoidance of my existence....

I realized very quickly this documentary was going to be alot bigger to me then I ever dreamed......and surely alot more real....

(to be continued)