The Weight of Trials....

There's an old saying that something "is worth it's weight in gold".  Of course gold has a worth no matter the amount or weight, but the increase in the weight in itself, determines the overall value, (stay with me here, the lameness get's unlame momentarily). 

One of the "themes" in my life, that if you cut me to the core, I would "bleed" a desire to see people free from bondage (i.e. depression, loneliness, fear, anxiety, etc). I also love more then anything being a valuable asset to someone going through a trial of sorts. I've got to admit to you, I've walked hand in hand with some pretty awesome people through their trials, and needless to say I think we have it all wrong. See here's what I think (for what it's worth)

The weight (or heaviness) of said particular trial, completely determines the value of your purposee 

See the weight of the trial doesn't have to be looked upon as a negative, but embraced as a positive. Another thought is this:

You never know what you have to go through, to be the person you are SUPPOSED to be.

We cannot say we understand completely WHY God allows us to go through trial, and tests. But we can rest assure that the weight will all be proportionate to the value. 

See the weight of your trials as a catapult to your purpose. Seek God during these trials, as

 Proverbs 3 says: 

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths.

Remember......your golden baby..

tHe iDiOt...

A GREAT tradition for you to start

So yesterday was my ARI'S 4Th birthday. She had her right of passage and got her ears pierced. Like any other unsuspecting parent, the time has escaped me to the point of aggravation. I don't think any good parent ever feels they spend enough time with their children. I think I do a pretty good job (especially when I compare myself to others). I think I'm way above average, but could be so much better. So I made a national SMUDA holiday that the king (that's me) has declared across the land. This decree says:

(IN OLD SCHOOL ENGLISH ACCENT....JUST IMAGINE THE TRUMPETS SOUNDING THEN..)

UPON THIS LAND, ANY SMUDA WITH A BIRTHDAY FALLING ON A NON-WEEKEND SHALL CAUSE ALL UNSUSPECTING SMUDA'S TO CALL IN SICK, TAKE OFF SCHOOL, FORGO ANY PLANS MADE, AND DROP ANY AND EVERYTHING TO SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY SPOILING "SAID" MENTIONED SMUDA........

decreed by his majesty

KING JAMES III

We've decided to take every birthday that falls on a weekday and EVERYONE must call in, take off, and cancel OR say no to. So that we can make that person in our "tribe" feel oh so very special.

This is something anyone can do. If your married, dating, kids are grown, college aged, whatever. We can get so caught up "chasing" whatever it is that God has put on your heart to chase, that at the end of the day your life became this series of chases (which is not ALL bad) but when it gets to the point where we've missed the out on the loved ones around us. IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

I've really been praying that God would give me the wisdom to stop, and breathe in the "moments" with the people I dearly love. My wife, my kids, my mentee's, the people who call me pastor, and the people who call me friend. Like I said, comparatively speaking, I'm really good at this...but here's my scariest thought.

Yesterday was her ears pierced!

Tomorrow I'm walking her down the isle!

And I refuse to miss a single big event in between...

Start a tradition...take the day.

tHe iDiOt....

NEHEMIAH and the art of MICKEY MOUSE FACE

A buddy of mine just did a teaching at a chapel service here at my church. He spoke about NEHEMIAH and the need for us as followers of Christ to have Joy "expressively" pouring out of our pores. Needless to say I blew off that teaching (just kidding Jared). Actually, it brought me to start a study on NEHEMIAH. 2 particular scriptures pop at me.

Chapter 2 vs 1. Nehemiah writes "NOW I HAD NEVER BEEN SAD IN HIS PRESENCE BEFORE". Now Nehemiah was the kings cup bearer. 

Job description: Looking for a bright young man, who is young, cheerful, has good listening skills, gives good council, and is available night and day at the kings request....OH, and must taste all the wine before the king does in case it's poisoned, in which case you would die. All applicants please pick up application at Human resources of King Artaxerxes palace.

Even more, I find it amazing that the king took notice. See Nehemiah was grieving the outbreaks in Jerusalem. These had been happening for some time, yet he says he was NEVER sad in the presence of the king. You could argue it was because of a lavish lifestyle (being the cup bearer had it's privileges) you could argue for a time he was glib (thank you tom cruise). But I tend to believe it's because he was in the presence of the king constantly. I tend to think because his job description meant that he lived to possibly die one day for the safety of the king, this brought him joy. There may have even been a time where he saw what was happening in Jerusalem, and his desire to go to rebuild the wall, that he had to put on his mickey mouse face until he could bear it no more. I used to be a waiter (and a darn good one at that) and I used to have a  manager say "I don't care what your going through, every table better feel like they are @ Disney world, so get your mickey mouse faces on". 

Sometimes we need to be strong and rely on God to give us the strength. Though our world may be crumbling we must never forget we are in the PRESENCE OF THE KING. One way Nehemiah did this (chapter 9) was reassure and remind HIMSELF the goodness of God during times of prayer and fasting. 

Sometimes we need to grin through something until we cannot bear it any longer, to show the KING the desires of our hearts.

I don't give a FACEBOOK.......

****this post is meant to be more comical then anything else. If you are offended A. it probably fits you....and B. We ALL need to learn to laugh at ourselves more right?

Ok..so here's a rant. I was so excited about facebook at first. But now I really feel it's simply feeding people's urge to be self minded (myself included. This is probably WAYYYY more for me then ANYBODY else.). I've come to realize, if I wasn't in ministry, I wouldn't have one.i Facebook is like ORLANDO.....it is NOT REAL (for all my Floridians, you know what i mean. Orlando is not a real representation of the actual FLORIDA)..It IS however a great way to get a mass about of information out at once.....

It's all about OUR status, which comically to me goes against almost anything JESUS right? no? maybe? huh? I'm babbling, but i SWEAR this all makes sense in MY HEAD....(which is a very very lonely place)

Here's what I don't give a facebook about:

I don't give a facebook about:  (STATUS SPEAKING) 

-y0ur workout routines (this includes running "x" miles per day)

-who your having lunch/dinner/coffee with (this includes your "amazingly beautiful ____________)

-when your sitting in Starbucks doing GOD KNOWS WHAT?

-you going to the gym...or NOT..

 -every conversation you have, during every moment of your day

-how long you spent at the gym

-your eating schedule (s)......

-who your hanging out with every moment of your ever popular life

-for the love of all that is holy YOUR FLIGHT SCHEDULE (S)

-whatever your watching on t.v.

-your gym schedule....(again..i know)

-if you want me text you while your at the GYM....

-when you are getting a haircut

-whatever cute thingy your pet has done.

-(for pastors) your prep time, your meeting "key" leaders, your speaking schedules, flight schedules, book sales, staff meetings, how great your staff is

-MAFIA WARS....(seriously)

-if your up way to early....or way too late...

-what kinda SONG best describes you

-what kinda GYM describes you

-comments on "HOW AMAZED YOU ARE BY HOW MANY FRIENDS YOU HAVE ON FACEBOOK?"

-All your RIDICULOUS rants on government and how the president is the DEVIL.....

-if your status @'s someone (ex....Jimmy is meeting @bobloser for lunch....you should be punched in the face)

all time worst example of a STATUS:

Jimmy is meeting @joeydillweed for lunch, then hitting the gym to run 900 mile, even though it's waaay to early to be up, but it's OK because later I'm catching a flight to talk leadership with @JesusChrist, and how we can overthrow @OBAMA, AND my new book "how to play F.B. mafia wars", while listening to becks "loser" which f.b. decided was the song that best describes me, .........TEXT IT.....

WHAT I DO GIVE A FACEBOOK ABOUT:

genuine things about YOUR day

funny sayings you heard, or said

YOUR birthday

events in YOUR life

birth of your child

gifts you received 

anniversary celebrations (no details on dinner needed)

an old story YOU remember

something funny your kid said

whatever revelation God gave you for that day

how you feel

an exciting moment in your life

a great event that just took place that day

what made you smile today

what made you laugh (excluding the gym, or anything workout related) 

invites to your big events 

if your struggling

if your happy

if your sad

if your joyful

what your working towards (school, life, family)

what's making you smile

what's making you feel loved

major ACCOMPLISHMENTS in YOUR life

funny little quotes or things your doing..

but all in all....that's just me.....(again...all meant in humor)

let's not be so self indulged that we miss the point of such an awesome "connection" to people opportunity by tooting our own horn(s)

I care to know more about the genuine things of people......then their workout schedules....

but again...I'm am 

tHe iDiOt.... 

Allow yourself to be encouraged

My wife and I were having one of "those" conversations the other day. (come on boys..you know what I'm talking about) one of those conversations where "I" was wrong, and everyone else around me was right, but I had yet to see it that way. We moved from who's right vs who's wrong to just plain old frustrated. Then it became apparent to me, it didn't matter if "I" was right or not. It didn't matter if other people were right or not. What was most apparent, was I was pen ting up anger, and frustration towards groups of people, that in THAT case at least, "I" WAS WRONG, and I needed to check myself, and seek healing. Then came another discussion. THIS one was the one where the iDiOt recognizes he's wrong (not overall...again...up for debate) but that he's wrong in his heart (which is even worse then the actual ORIGINAL debate of me being wrong or right to begin with) then the iDiOt ( BUNNY TRAIL i love referring to myself in the 3rd person with my blog name...) goes into a mass depressive state, with quarters  so tight a single piece of sand would find uncomfortable. 

My wife then begins her best efforts to comfort me (however I found it completely odd that if she just would have agreed with me in the first place, and allowed me to SMITE those that wronged me, I would have needed no comfort) She begins to encourage me. Here's the thing. I had already heard it before. I realized I have heard every single encouraging word any human can ever utter in the history of existence. I have heard every compliment, every good word, every single encouragement known to man kind. I've heard them from good people, strangers, family, even friends of friends. You name it, I've heard it. But I'm not sure how much of them I actually ever let in, sink in, or marinate in my sometimes dry heart. I simply would either agree, or discard. I then thought, I wonder what the church's Paul wrote to thought. Weather he was encouraging, rebuking, confirming. Was it a (very sarcastic) "HEY GUYS......PAUL'S WRITING AGAIN...LET'S SEE WHAT BRAIN-BUSTERS HE'S DROPPING ON US THIS TIME"? or did they get excited by a letter in wonderment of what words their spiritual daddy was writing. I know if we study the "actions" of those church's we can get a better understanding of their attitude.

What I also know is it's hard for me at times to allow others to encourage me. As a pastor, I feel it's always in my job description (and i really believe it is!) to do that. Maybe it's due to a lack of genuineness, or time span between that at time hardens my hardens my heart. Allowance is more then money you earned as a kid. Allowance, is opening yourself up to be encouraged, strengthened, and loved.

Encourage others, and allow yourself to be encouraged...

Romans 1:11-13 (New International Version)

11I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— 12that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.

...tHe iDiOt....

Loneliness: "The great battle against desolation"

I've had several conversations with people this week about something that breaks my heart. I've had the same conversation over the past couple months more then I can count. The subject. Loneliness! (and for those dropping the "youth" watermark on me, it's been with adults as well...GASP!!!!!!!)

To me one of the worst things a person can expeirience is the feeling of desolation. It feels like a lead weight dropped in my stomach when I hear that. One definition of desolation is "deprevation of companionship".  I find it ironic too, being that we are in such a "communicative" time in live (cell phones, emails, face book, twitters, twatters, twangers, blogs, smogs, and whatever form of false communication you subscribe to). The problem is I think we've used these forms of connecting to do the opposite. To disconnect. Listen, I love these things. I have most of the ones I mentioned above (the real ones at least). But I've challenged myself in this area lately. How much of that am I using to either disperse info ABOUT myself VS connecting to others. The harsh reality is I became a Jimmy whore. Pimping all my thoughts, cares, feelings, etc, but less time asking others (friends) about what's going on in their lives. Now relax before you cast that sharp stone. I'm not saying sharing info on yourself to friends is bad. But I believe in balance. 

So I ask you these questions as a friend. 

Do you share more about YOU, then YOU ask about OTHERS?

How much of your general conversations are based around YOU? (what YOUR doing, what YOUR involved in? etc).

Are you a person who has an answer for EVERYTHING?, so much you ask questions about NOTHING?

How much joy do you find in the success of others? VS the success of yourself?

Why am I asking questions about YOU, when talking about loneliness. Because I believe as Followers of Christ, we must make it our mandate, our call, our mission, to build community.  God gives his character in short forms in scripture on loneliness.

Gen 2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone...'"

 1 Cor 12:21 "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' ..."

God knows the need for community, and the enemy understands the power of desolation. I'm thankful for his promises...
Heb 13:5 "... God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will
I forsake you.

And I'm even more thankful to remind others of these promises.....

Live WITH others, Live FOR one.....

tHe iDiOt......

More for me than you....(REMIND SOMEONE, SOMETHING TODAY)..

In Jude (unsure of which version) it says "Let not your love feast have any spots".

I tell people all the time "letters" are the way to my heart. I keep all of them. Communicating our love for one another, is the greatest tool we have as Christians...brothers and sisters......and family.

I post this not to reveal to the world how awesome I am/was/will be (even though ALL are so true....HUMILITYYYYYYY).

          I post this to encourage you TODAY to reach out to someone you love(d) at one time or currently, tell them, share it with them. We've made ourselves into such a  dispensing type of people. (i.e. MY status updates..facebook, twitter, etc) We dispense OUR information, and give minimal care to other's thoughts, worries, pains, joys, success. My pastor always says "Live outside yourself". It's tough for us to do at time, but you never know what you do to a person when you reach out and remind them.

This young lady I had the privilege of knowing  (and baptizing...AWESOME) and living life with for a short time. God used her in a powerful way to send me a letter I needed desperately AT THAT TIME. When you reach out and share your love, it could be the most powerful way God reminds someone how much HE loves them as well. It reminds you that your not alone. It reminds you that people actually care in a sometimes cold world, and even more so that people are actually listening.

THIS IS WHAT SHE SHARED WITH ME....

It was because for once someone believed in me.
It was because you were the tallest person I’d ever met.
It was because of that cough you seemed to always have.
It was because you told me I loved like you.
It was because you said my love was a river, and it could carry me anywhere,
but rapids always happen in rivers,
and I’d have to fall out and get wet and hurt sometimes,
just like you.
You never told me I was too young, not good enough, I wouldn’t understand.
You told me it was a choice I’d end up making.
All you ever did was try to help me.
And I made my own choice.
I wonder why not everyone has to learn the hard way?

It was how intense you got when we talked.
It was because you weren’t afraid to cry with me.
You we’re never afraid to tell me about Jesus Christ.
It’s because I trusted you.
It’s because your foot never stopped bouncing the hole time.
Or how I saw your brain race with desperation.
For me, for my generation, for your generation, for humanity.
Desperation of love and passion for God.
You told me about the past, about yours, about a lot of things.
I don’t remember how I was thinking at the time.
Maybe I was just looking to talk, and tell my story.
Or maybe I knew you could give me more.
You did give me more, and I threw it aside till I realized I should’ve listened.
Where I saw nothing, you showed me God.
Where I felt nothing, you gave me God.
Where I was sleeping, you woke me up with God.
I want to thank you for telling me I had the gift of love.
Thank you for believing in me even when I made the choice you told me not to make.
Thank you for having love for me even when I might’ve blown you off.
I wish you were still around.
I wish I could’ve known you more before you left.
I wish it hadn’t broken my heart to see you leave.
I tried to hate you.
I tried to let everyone else be right about you.
But I had memories, no one knew.
No one listened to every talk we ever had.
No one knew the God you gave to me, to see, to love, to believe.
No one knew the depth I found in you.
How did I wreck everything so badly when all I was trying to do was love?
I wish we could still talk like we use to.
But our seasons run a little different now and there’s nothing I can do.
Just as long as you always know,
always remember the God you gave to me.
Remember the faith that sparked through you.
The determination to love from you.
Love is something I think I forgot to give along the way.
Love is nothing to throw away.

I love you and miss you!