The IGNORE (ant) vs tHe iDiOt....

So I'm struggling here. I struggle with "ignore". Or being ignored. I also struggle with the "ignore" "ant". Look, I'm not an egomaniac that is like the "Stuart"saying "look what I can do"! But I do have issues when we ignore one another in the body of Christ. Our needs, our struggles, our victories. Blind eyes see nothing worth value. Here's my "rant". Within the last several months, I have reached out to several people in the christian world who I greatly admire. I mean deeply admire, I mean look up to (and continue to look up to......and that's hard...I'm 6'6). I reached out via email, hand written notes, phone calls, face books, pigeons with notes attached, smoke signals, airplane signs, and prophets directly speaking from God on their voice mails (OK..i exaggerate...I'd never take time to hand write anything). 

I've asked for very difficult things (like a quick note of advice via email, or how they got that God idea). I mean come on! We get it! Your busy, insanely popular, and God is using you in mountain moving ways. But when is too big...too big. When we don't have time for the "little" folk.  Coming out of bible college, I remember wanting to be the next RON LUCE, speaking in front of 100,000 young people a night. Now, "that" would be hell. I like manageable. Don't get me wrong I like big...big hair, big jeans, big crowds. What I don't like is big ego's, and I can't help but think that the big boys that are too busy to write a simple email saying "try this" haven't lost sight of the real. Jesus rode with 12, to reach billions. Get small to BE big is a theme that's been in my spirit for over a year now. Back to my thought (because I love these people so much, I REFUSE to call it an "Issue"...so it's more of a frustrating thought)

Here's a sample of my rant:

Dear "said HERO"

I just wanted to write you a note first saying how much I admire you, and what God is doing in and through you to reach thousands for his kingdom. I've read all your books, and listened to almost every podcast. YOU ARE A HERO TO ME IN THE FAITH. I won't take up too much of your time knowing how incredibly busy you must be. I am a young pastor, embarking on reaching an emerging generation.  I think clearly you are on the forefront of what you are doing on the west coast. I am from N.Y. and we have nothing like that here, but when I study the west coast, and compare it with what's going on (or not going on) here in N.Y. I think maybe God has brought me here to merge what you do here.

I'm not asking for anything but maybe a simple sentence of direction! Some encouragement you may think to lead me in the right direction!

Again thank you so much for being such a influence in my life.

Deeply appreciative,

Jimmy Smuda

Now listen, this guy IS a hero. STILL to this day. If he came out with a book again tomorrow I'M BUYING. Because I'm not holding "him" on a pedestal. I recognize GOD is using him in mighty ways. I'm not holding unrealistic expectations. I'm not even faulting him for not a response. What I am saying is this. I did this with several people, and got not ONE response! I would have taken..."Jimmy, pray, fast, and seek God's face".

When Jesus recognized the lady who touched his robe, it showed he wasn't TOO BIG to not recognize the small. When the widow brought 2 mites, and dropped them in....He wasn't too big to recognize her heart.

I rest on the fact that ALL of these people are still my hero's, and I will suck the influence right out of all of them, pray for them, and support them. However I've realized something (which is good for me) I don't want to be them! Give me a small group to take on a BIG WORLD!

I find comfort in the words of Ghandi: 

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win".

tHe iDiOt......

CP (PART 2)

So it's almost a week later, and I've digested our little project. Or have just begun to. Beginning last Friday night, I endeavored upon the great city of NY as a homeless person. With nothing but the clothes on my back, and my i.d. and 2 other pastors, we set out to give a true testimony of what life was like living street life. We didn't know what to expect, or what we would encounter, but we were willing...and that is worth something. Friday came, my biggest fear was running into students who I serve (as the school that's the part of my church, and right next door to my house was on a field trip to the city). It was 3 pm, and we were on our way. No students around....test passed. At the train station, the pastors and I broke away from each other (which we had already incurred some resistance from the train workers in giving us really mind blowing information.......like the time. I guess the giant clock right behind them, wasn't....well working). We took some private time to pray, get alone, and ask God for divine connections and experiences with HIM. Just as we were ready to board, the train arriving opens, and a plethora of my students walked off the train with nothing but a "gasp". One particular girl looked at me straight in the face and literally let out a whimper. I looked at her stunned, and did the only thing I thought someone who had a bright life ahead of them could do when taking the plunge into street life, and turning away from everything they love. I winked....and I walked away. Not acknowledging them whatsoever. As I walked into my train, they came running. They stood at the door of the train...my babies, my kids, everything I serve God for..just staring with blank, hurt faces....Then the doors closed, and the train departed. The symbolism God used in my head at that moment, that someone would walk away from everything they love, without a word was paralyzing.

I don't know if I thought it would feel "that" real. I was numb the entire 40 minute ride to the city, only awakening from my emotional coma as we hit the streets of the city, and encountered the reactions of people. Or should I say the avoidance of my existence....

I realized very quickly this documentary was going to be alot bigger to me then I ever dreamed......and surely alot more real....

(to be continued)

Birth of (CP) Cornelius Project

Those who are very close to me, and know me very intimately, know that when I say my four famous words...you'll want to run....you'll want to hide.....but you'll be sucked in by the energy force called (INTRIGUE)

my four famous words...

I....GOT......THIS.....IDEA........

(rewind...with a fast forward twist, and a side of current)

The next 48 hours are going to be hell, painful, aggravating, and frustrating. I'm going to be rocked to my core, and everything in me will want to run.....I will hate who I am, and others are. I will sense my worthlessness, and understand I've haven't done nearly as much as I could have..........and you know what? I'M GONNA LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT..

About a month ago, I grabbed a very close friend of mine, and uttered these very same words. Jared Berry is slowly becoming one of my closest friends. We are "simpatico", very very kindred spirits, even though almost a decade difference in age. I'm really falling in love with the guy, and his heart to reach people, and still take chances.

I approached him with this idea I really felt God laid on my heart. I've worked very closely with the homeless population since I began ministry 11 years ago. I ALSO have always wanted to do documentaries.....(you see where I'm going with this...) So I said "let's be homeless" Nothing long term (still love my family). But let's say 48 hours?

How can we open the churches eyes to making a difference in those who literally have nothing....the answer....you have to get to the root, show facts, and open eyes. That's what we want to do. 2 guys, wanting to raise home missional awareness I mean what can we do for "THE LEAST OF THESE"....

And out of that CP (or Cornelius Project was born). Jared shared with me today as we took some sacred time for scripture sharing in Acts 10. When Peter was summoned to the centurion Cornelius (and yes my mind went straight to the "damn dirty ape" line from Planet of the Apes) digressiiiiing.

Cornelius was the first gentile convert of the new testament. He was the first that God gave Peter  to "cross the line", when God spoke and said "I SHOW NO PARTIALITY". That simple phrase has been ringing in my head all day. God shows no Partiality towards me...the "good looking" pastor with a family vs the homeless gentlemen who has nothing.....

So our goal is to raise awareness on Hot topic/Taboo issues that Church's deal with. Were giving away whatever we produce, in the name of AWAKENING......For the next 48 hours I am not PASTOR JIMMY SMUDA. I am homeless, I am not a daddy, I am homeless, I am not a husband, I am homeless, My address for the next 48 hours is not the beautiful house I reside in valley stream, but NYC Manhattan, the streets my bed. I will eat whatever I find,  beg for spare change (***and give it away to those in true need, along with any donations given to us****)

I am not a writter, preacher, friend or foe...I am not a mentor, councelor, brother or role model.....for the next 48 hours.....I am homeless........I am homeless....

......and pray that I don't come back as "ThE  iDiOt"  I know right now sitting in front of my computer.....

more to come.........ThE iDiOt..

Win baby Win........

I came to a startling revelation that I shared with a young lady last night after one of my teachings.

She was sharing a brief synopsis on her life, and something she was struggling with. Already that day I had spoken at a local College group, Lead my leadership/discipleship team, did the main service teaching and was spent. I had not allot left to give out (and I had already been texting this beautiful young soul all day.) She gave me the cutest smile, and said "Pastor Jimmy, I really do want to be over this "thing". I said there's one simple way. WIN!

During most of the day, I was sharing a chronological message on how in Mark, it states that Jesus was tempted by the devil, and HE WON. Right after that chronologically Jesus comes off the mountain, grabs a couple more disciples, then begins preaching/teaching in the synagogues. Then comes the infamous SERMON ON THE MOUNT. 

My point? If we can transform our minds, to realize that in THE MIDST of the temptation, struggle, valley (insert your christian struggle slogan here) that IF WE WIN, God wants to use us in  a big way IMMEDIATELY.  Jesus' ministry began "after" his biggest temptation....

So back to this beautiful young soul. I looked deeply in her eyes, and said, when your winning, it doesn't matter how long the game is....... when your winning it doesn't matter how hard the struggle is.....YOUR WINNING......

It's when your losing that struggle, valley, (yada yada yada)...THAT'S when it seems to much to bear.

             Don't worry about ( again...fill in the blank to your current catastrophe) just focus on winning, and transform your mind to understand that IF you win, there's a good chance God will want to use you immediately.....

tHe iDiOt.......

LOYALTY

I believe in LOYALTY.

I live loyalty. I breathe loyalty, I eat it....with a spoon.

One of the biggest wrestling matches I've ever had with God was when I realized that I would not stay in one church (the church I came to know Christ in) for 80 years. I left bible college wanting to be at one church, forever. Now several church's later, there is still a nasty taste in my mouth due to this fact.  Recently I took a group on a retreat, and had a conversation about "getting old". People at my current church LOVE to remind me how Old I'm getting. I don't mind. I'm 32. In perspective, in 9 more months I'll have outlived my birth mother, who I always regarded as dying too young. So I'm not hung up on getting old. The conversation went on, and I began sharing how moving so much, deprived me of one of my childhood dreams. Being old, arguing on the front porch with life long friends on who was the greatest quarterback Marino or Montana?

Crabby old men together, discussing how "back in our day we had "pure" role models like PARIS HILTON...Not like these stars today!!!

Needless to say, moving has taken a toll on long distance relationships in my life. 

Through this conversation, I shared my heart on this, and one of my

leaders said 

"then you gotta stay in one place for a while". 

Oh how I wish I could open my chest and show all my heart on this. 

THAT WAS MY DREAM. TO LIVE, BREATH EAT AND DIE IN ONE PLACE!

Proverbs 2:6 (the message) says this: "God gives out WISDOM free, 

is plainspoken in knowledge and understanding. 

He's a rich mine of common sense for those who live well, 

a personal bodyguard to the canddid and sincere. 

HE KEEPS HIS EYE ON ALL WOH LIVE HONESTLY, 

AND PAYS SPECIAL ATTENTION TO HIS LOYALLY COMMITTED ONES.

I love loyalty so much that I have an issue with myself on this one. However I also know

when God has spoken to move on. I think of when God called MOSES to move from the palace

to redeem HIS people. I'm sure the palace was nice, and I know Moses had big plans.

In todays world there is a lack of loyalty, and no place more than the church. Generations upcoming

are bouncing to find the "right fit". Leaving at a moments notice. Or they are even doing

"double duty" attending several churchs at once. I am not opposed to either, nor judge anyone

who does such. I simply wonder how healthy that is for the spirit? Though I know God has

ordained and called each one of mine and Gloria's moves, it is all at a cost. Though we call

ourselves "nomads" at times, more appropriately we've been missionairies to a post-christian

nation. That is not something we ever envisioned, but have obidiently embraced.

At the expense of losing a dream (1 place...forever) God has sent us many places to

teach, dialogue, and encourage loyalty. I just pray when I'm old....the old guys will be there

to argue....and defend the integrity of Paris.....

tHe iDiOt......

Nebraska...what are you doing?

EpHeSiAnS 5:1 (WAKE UP FRM YOUR SLEEP) Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us.LOVE LIKE THAT....(MESSAGE)

Nebraska. Know mainly for CORN and Corn husker football. Now this state has allowed parents to "dump" their children off at any hospital when they have "had enough". As despicable as this is, the thoughts of what these poor children have already learned from their parents. What will the next generation of parenting look like. As I sit here my youngest daughter is watching blues clues, laughing mercilessly. There's nothing in me that could ever imagine "having enough". No matter what she does or does not do. I love where this scripture says "his love was not cautious". Cautious loving is not loving at all. It's simply tolerating. It's placating. We need parents who will grow and love their children extravagantly. 

tHe iDiOt...

STARBUCKS CHURCH